i had ended it. but you asked if we could take it that nothing happened. i said okay. now. i dunno if i had made the right choice. we were not meant to be. you dont even care about me anymore. im sick and tired of trying. why must it be that both our personalities are like this? i try to change, but im unable to. shouldnt a relationship be two-sided? you're not even trying. its okay. slowly, i will let go. i have reflected. whats the point in the end? misery. maybe not for you, but for me. my heart is too soft. i should've just ended it there and then at that time. why did i get myself into this mess. i hate myself. for not having the courage. i wish i had the courage like cheryl and wanxin and whoever does. for just going up to suihui and whoever and ask to take picture. they tried forcing me and pulling me to go up to find you, but i was scared i would be rejected or whatever. ugh. i hate hate hate myself. im so useless. now, the opportunity is gone. im very sure i wouldnt have a chance to take a picture with you or whatever anyway. see. what is the point. this isnt going anywhere. somemore. do you even love me anymore? wait. did you even love me in the first place. oh okay. i noe. you love everyone. i dont mean anything to you. fine. thanks alot okay. to me, you were the most important person. dont believe me? ask my friends. you're one of the very extremely few, or maybe even the only one, that i say the phrase 'i love you' to. i only say it when i truly mean it. you dun even bother to reply to most of my msgs. as i said. why am i even trying. this just makes me feel like such a rejected loser. thanks man. i bet you wouldnt even remember my birthday. and i am not going to hint either. i do not like people who keep hinting when their birthday is nearing. like whats the point man. if people want to give you a present, they would probably remember it. anyway, you wouldnt even be coming to school already, by the time my birthday comes. i hope the class doesnt sing birthday song to me. i dont like people singing to me. it makes me feel awkward. i hope that nobody even remembers la. i dont expect presents anyway. last year, only cynthia and nuzie gave me presents. im grateful to them. others, they say want to give me, but didnt. not that i care. i do not need them anyway. im such a pathetic fool. why cant i be more.. enthu? whatever it is. sighs.
iLOVEu
|9:17 AM|